Being John Glaser 11/10/10

Meaningfully Using Industry Buzzwords at Home

With the HITECH and ACA legislation and rules. many new phrases and words have been introduced and old ones have gained additional prominence. I have found that these phrases and words also have use in several situations at home. See some examples below.

Death Panel. Your sixteen-year-old son returns home drunk at 2 a.m. after a long Saturday night. He parks the car sideways on the lawn. You and your wife are sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for him. As far as he is concerned, you and your wife are a death panel.

Stimulus funds. Your spouse shows you the new clothes that she bought. You like the clothes, but are mystified by the apparent need for new clothes when the old clothes aren’t that old and you liked those too. Moreover, the clip-on tie you had in third grade is still good and forty years later you still wear it from time to time. You don’t realize that the household income is really a stimulus fund to keep retailers employed.

Data exchange and interoperability. Your daughter (a senior in high school) wants to spend the weekend with her new boyfriend, who is a freshman at a local college. You, recalling quite well what’s always on the minds of young males, say “No.” Your daughter protests, “But Dad, it’s not what you think. I will be staying at his cousin’s (who is a girl) dorm room. Nothing will happen!” You think – I don’t believe that for a second – and again say “No.” You and your daughter are engaged in data exchange, but there is no interoperability going on.

Certification process. The first time you met him, you instantly liked your daughter’s new boyfriend. The second time you met him, you engaged him a lengthier conversation and discovered that he is a moron. The third time you met him, he had been invited for dinner and was clearly stumped by the role of the napkin. You decide that you and your daughter need a new boyfriend certification process.

Meaningful Use. You notice a dead tree in the yard. You find your chain saw and install a new chain. You assure your wife that you know how to fell this tree so that it won’t hit the house even though the tree is close to the house. You miscalculate and tree branches take out the kitchen window. Your spouse is less than impressed. You are clearly not a Meaningful User of advanced technology.

Bundled Payment. You are arm-wrestling with a new car salesman over the price of a car. He mentions all of the features that come with the base price – seats, steering wheel, front window, headlights, and an engine. He informs you of all of the extras – roof, glove compartment, and radio. You want the extras for free. Plus you want a sun roof, Jacuzzi, and toaster. You and he are negotiating a bundled payment.

The great thing about words and phrases is that they have so many uses and meanings.

John Glaser, PhD, FCHIME is CEO, Health Services of Siemens Healthcare. He describes himself as an "irregular regular contributor" to HIStalk.